Tomorrow’s instructions? They’re here somewhere…. ah yes.
Another Queen of Hearts day? Oh my… am I sure you can handle this so soon and still maintain focus?
Hmm… yes, I think you can ;)
Pull from your deck the Queen of Hearts. Carry her with you all day long. She’s such a lovely lady, isn’t she? Sassy and demanding, sexy and playful. Even though she’s an attractive queen, it’s more about her attitude, isn’t it?
Throughout the remainder of this experience I’d like for you to take special note of the women around you. When you see or speak with someone that makes you think, “Oh she’s sexy!”, what about her makes you feel that way? Pay extra special attention to the Ladies you see quite often and know fairly well. What about their attitudes appeal to you?
Finally, instead of a reading assignment, I’d like for you to listen to my Kidnapped by a Domme: the Climax.
(If you know you can’t find alone time to listen to an MP3, write me.)
Today is Day14 of my experience.
I am focused in all aspects of affairs and my obedience :-)
Yesterday morning and afternoon my attention was totally dedicated to “Budding D”…..
Last night I travelled and once in my hotel room, I knelt and reflected on the lessons of my submission to your control, again the card I had selected the night before, face down card in front of me.
I was surprised by the intensity of my arousal after the last few days of serving the Queen of Hearts and “Budding D”.
No doubt I was assisted by Jeremy’s very erotic and arousing predicament – ecstasy/agony, disappointment/satisfaction, yes/no at the same time….
I turned over the Jack of Hearts and obeyed as instructed.
Today I have had the Queen of Hearts in my wallet all day and tonight I will kneel and comply with your instructions. An exciting way to finish my last day :-)
Thank you for your wonderful mentoring and efforts, they are the more appreciated for knowing how busy you have been. I have enjoyed your guidance and control very much. Hopefully through a better understanding of myself I will be able to achieve my goal to better serve and please dear “Budding D”.
I hope I have pleased you and that you see fit to allow me to depart the experience. I will regularly reflect on my submissiveness and of course listen to your mp3’s. This morning on the way up to the mine I listened one called Venus and Mars which I find very helpful and of course I also get to listen to your intoxicating voice :-)
Yours obediently,
Jay
This is day 6 of my experience. This will be a short post as I worked late and took care of my Juliet. Nothing in the experience is interferring with my professional or personal life.
I believe the multiple releases – for me – are distracting me away from my obedience. I have somewhat got the attitude…. why bother if I am allowed to Orgasm every other day…. Just being honest. The more I am controlled the more I want to restrain and please.
I am going to listen to the mp3 recording while I go to sleep tonight although I did kneel and have an orgasm (release) today.
“Throughout the remainder of this experience I’d like for you to take special note of the women around you. When you see or speak with someone that makes you think, “Oh she’s sexy!”, what about her makes you feel that way? Pay extra special attention to the Ladies you see quite often and know fairly well. What about their attitudes appeal to you?”
1. The girl at the Subway shop.
Working grrl, preparing my lunch, smiles and flirts.
2. Our receptionist
Pretty at 7 AM. Pretty at 4 PM.
3. The accontant’s adm. asst.
Single, gorgeous, has flirted with me, grabbed my butt one time (ok that is a fantasy)
Somehow having so many releases diminishes the desire I have to pleasure you. If I am offered a release frequently, it seems as if I am not withholding my own desire, hence your pleasure.
If I think of it another way…. If you want me to Orgasm (4x per day) I would. The difference between “OMG I HAVENT HAD AN ‘O’ for SOOOOO LONNNNNG and I NEED ONE, and More O’s that I normally have in a week is profound.
Tonight, I will obey, Kneel, release and think of my day.
Please allow me to continue with this experience.
I do understand, Kaysnd and I really appreciate your honesty.
Something to consider. When I allow you to release, I’m still controlling you. In fact, since you seem to prefer denial at the moment (and I understand that you do and why you do), having you release is really controlling you more, isn’t it? It’s pretty easy to control someone when they are doing what they want to do. When a Lady asks him to do something that isn’t his preference, she isn’t merely accepting control – she’s taking control.
One of the things that is common for vanilla women is the perception that sex isn’t good for men unless they get to release. Now clearly, I know that isn’t always true for those who are submissive, especially those into tease and denial. The thing is, sometimes it takes awhile for that information to really sink into a vanilla lady’s mind. Even when she consciously understands your desires, years of conditioning tends to control (at least at times) her subconscious mind and it effects her emotional response. It would seem to make it easier if submissive men and vanilla wives-trying-to-dominate would each move to the middle some – him releasing when she wants and her working to understand he enjoys denial even more at times.
As for feeling more controlled when he is denied, if he can’t continue to surrender control when she does something she wants, then who is controlling whom? Again, not saying I don’t understand how you feel or that you are trying to take control – clearly you are obeying and simply telling me your feelings. I like that! I’m just attempting to demonstrate how things might be from the Lady’s point of view.
Kaysnd – I explained that in the hopes that the days you release would feel as powerful as being denied. I know it might take awhile for that to happen, but it can and does. I’ve seen it happen at least once in the last couple of weeks ;)
Jay, I must say I have truly enjoyed our time doing this as you have been a delight in every way. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with me.
Lady Julia
“having you release is really controlling you more, isn’t it?”
Very thought provoking. I suppose it is.
Not that I have a huge library of Nixon quotes in my head, but he once said something along these lines:
“Power doesn’t lie in the ability to say ‘NO,’ it lies in the ability to say ‘YES’”
In correction to my post, last night was day 7 of my experience.
Lady Julia-
I am following your command and not letting this experience interfere with my “normal” personal life. I was at work so late last night I did not have time to post and my day has been so busy this has been virtually my first chance to catch my breath. That said, here is my report on day twelve of my experience.
As I said I was very busy yesterday but I did think of that Queen of Hearts card and the Hypnosis section that was waiting for me when I finally got home. I don’t work with any women and my wife was asleep when I got home so my interactions with women were pretty few and far between. I did think that one one of the baristas at the coffee shop I frequent every morning is sexy. She is one of a set of triplets which I find quite intriguing. It blew my mind the first time I went into the coffee shop and all three of them were there. I thought I might be hallucinating for a minute. One of the things I find sexy about her is that I’m never quite sure which one I am talking to. They own the place together but very rarely is more than one of them there at one time. Also they are all very friendly and they know me which I also find attractive.
When i got home from work my whole family were in bed so i was able to stretch out on the couch and listen to Kidnapped The Climax. I loved it. I think I am becoming better and better at going into trance. I felt that collar. It was great.
Thank You Lady Julia for allowing me to release.
This experience is not having a negative effect on my personal life.
Please allow me to serve you another day.
Thank You!
Humbly Yours,
Jason
Day 7 for Rumi “it’s all in the attitude”: Started the day by oversleeping. I spent ten seconds on my knees, put the Queen of Hearts in my wallet and sped off to work. Oh, I want to mention, oversleeping was unrelated to this experience – my wake up alarm failed.
At work, all of my peers and my boss are women, and it has been that way with rare exceptions for 30 years. I have had strong erotic feelings for a number of my colleagues in that time, but never closely looked at what in particular attracts me to an individual. I know it is not conventionally-defined physical beauty or age. One Lady in particular was a nun in her early decades, who left to get married and have children. What I really find attracive about her is that beneath her calm, controlled demeanor is a burning desire to be of service to the needs and best interests of the people we care for day after day together. I see it come through when one of them becomes ill or clearly neglectful of themselves. She is unrelenting in getting done what needs doing, or convincing a patient to do what they need to do to stay alive. I find this very sexy. I have had fantasies involving me and her and a tent in the Andes, or Faluja. We would do our nursing thing together in the day and at night in the tent, I would serve that burning desire with my body and mind. whooh!
The day ended with me kneeling again, relaxed and getting kidnapped. I felt that same heat all over my body as I stretched out on the bed and fell into it. (note from the future: I worked with this colleague the next day, and wondered if she noticed the blush I felt on my face as we stood next to each other drawing up the day’s medications)