Hello Fellas,
It’s been a busy week, hasn’t it? I think you might need a nice, quite, relaxing Saturday….
Tomorrow you will draw a card and carry it with you all day. No matter what you draw, you will act as if it is the Queen of Hearts, sort of. In the morning when you kneel, you will bring yourself to the edge and stop. When you kneel the second time (as late in the day as possible), you will bring yourself to the edge and release.
Your reading for tomorrow can be found here.
Wandering won’t be joining you for a few days as he is ill. Tomorrow will be Mike’s last day. Everyone else will continue.
Remember, releasing isn’t the end – control is about what I request and you surrender. If I request that you release four times in one day, that’s control (smiles, I won’t – just saying it would be if I did ;)
You’re doing great :)
~ Lady Julia
Wandering,
Sorry to hear you are not well. Hope you recover quickly.
Jay
Lady Julia,
Today is day 17 of my experience.
I drew the Jack of Hearts yesterday.
I am feeling well. I am grounded and wish to continue for my final day. I am sad. Like the last day of a wonderful vacation. :-(
Last night was intense and sweet. It is getting easier to stop and harder at the same time. I wish I could explain it better. The intensity of the arousal keeps getting stronger but so do the feelings of surrender. I am caught in the middle. Suspended in a most delicious/agonizing state.
I completed my morning assignment of going to the edge while kneeling. I was caught by surprise how intense that feeling was. I really enjoy the kneeling aspect. Very delightful and very powerful.
Obediently,
Mike
Lady Julia,
I wanted to ask you a question so I am making a separate post. In the “Library” reading assignment you kind of imply that kneeling is part of the humiliation aspect of things. Or did I mis-read that? You also imply that embarrassment and humiliation are different ends of the same scale. That I understand. It can be enjoyable to be in a position where you get caught. But I would be embarrassed being caught making out in the library too.
To me kneeling is a sign of respect and surrender. I think being allowed to kneel is an honor and privilege. The fact that you order me to do it makes it more of a privilege. I honestly don’t find it the least bit humiliating at all. Maybe others feel differently.
I am new to this stuff so I am not use to all the jargon. So maybe I am misinterpreting. I am not into verbal humiliation and things of that nature. Where the goal is to lower someones self esteem. Playful banter is one thing and I imagine that can be fun. But I don’t think I could get into being belittled and humiliated as the main thing. Some of the things mentioned in the “Mistress & Cabron” (OMG) story, I would also find humiliating and not enjoyable.
I was wondering what your thoughts were. I am not judging. Just very curious. I think this would be an excellent thread for your main blog page. “What does it mean to you when a man kneels for you?” If you like I can post the question there.
Respectfully,
Mike
Mike, I’m sort of sad it’s the end for you too, but it’s that last day of vacation sort of thing :)
I’m responding to your other questions, giving it thought before I do, so I will post it in a little bit. Thank you for asking the things that come to mind.
You may all continue on except Mike. He graduated ;)
Mike,
In no way whatsoever do I consider kneeling to be a humiliating act. In a D/s sense, it’s a symbolic gesture of surrender, respect, and yes, honor. It’s quite simply beautiful. Within a relationship it’s intimate, tender, and sexy. I cherish that my fella kneels for me. Sometimes it turns me on, but most often it touches my heart in a way that makes me feel this overwhelming surge of love. When friends kneel, as each of you are doing, I am touched in a different way, but it is still moving. I have an idea what it means to all of you – as you said, the honor, the respect, the surrender – so how could I not feel humbled that strong men would sincerely do this for me? To be totally honest, sometimes it brings tears to my eyes when someone kneels for me. Not a big bad Domme thing to admit, but there you have it ;)
With most actions, I believe it’s more the circumstances that lend to a sense of embarrassment, humiliation, excitement, etc. Not just the where and when, but the people involved. What’s humiliating to you or I might be pleasurable squirming to someone else. Yes, I think that pleasurable embarrassment and humiliation are each ends of a scale.
As for the library fantasy, it’s just that – a fantasy. I can’t ever see myself picking up a stranger, much less humiliating anyone. Clearly the men involved enjoyed what they were doing because she in no way coerced them to their knees nor did she make the man kiss her foot. I don’t see anything in the story that is what I see as humiliation – which is, as you described, something that is belittling.
While I am happy to make someone squirm in pleasure, it’s not my style to do anything to make someone feel less of a person. Quite the opposite. I want to do things that build my partner up and myself as well. I think any healthy relationship has such goals.
With regard to the Cabron story, yes some of it is harsh. I enjoy reading stories like that because it allows me a glimpse of situations I would never otherwise observe.
~ Lady Julia
This is day 5 of my experience. Nothing I am doing here is interferring with my personal life or my professional life.
I started my day in the kneeling position and came to the edge and was pleased that I could comply without erupting into orgasm. I felt very satisfied that I had obeyed. My leg muscles are feeling the stretch and becoming looser.
I drew a card and kept it in my shirt pocket all day. Contemplating the release at the end of the day. I prepared.
I wore my leopard skin silk long underware and black undies. I got all of my Saturday chores out of the way early and got everything under control so I could have some free time in the hot tub… alone. Relaxation, anticipation with some trepridation. The word’s in the instruction “sort of” made me somewhat apprehensive that the “release” I was expecting wouldn’t.
I had the time today to visit some of the earlier posts and believe I have “caught up” Maybe not.
I am now heading into the hot water of relaxation and will edge and release just before going to bed. Anticipating sweet dreams. The card goes back into the deck – unseen.
Please allow me to continue this experience. I am seeing an abstract difference between physical control (Chasity belt and keyholder) and the mental control (obedience is pleasure) that I didn’t know existed.
Thank you. That is what I thought. By asking these questions I am trying to learn and understand myself better.
This is all so new and strange to me. I have felt things that two years ago I would not have believed.
Thanks for your help and guidance.
Mike
Lady Julia-
This is day ten of my experience.
The morning edging was tough I almost went too far. I was afraid I would release but luckily I stopped just in time. I imagined you saying “Such a Good Boy.”
My day was pretty busy with family stuff and a minor plumbing catastrophe.
In the afternoon I felt the need to center myself so I took out my card and held it a little while and thought about the experience. It helped me calm down.
I made it until the early evening before I knelt and released. After several days the release was quite intense. My whole body was gyrating when it finally happened. It took longer than I thought it would but I savored every minute of it.
Thank You for allowing me this pleasure Lady Julia.
Please allow me to submit to your control for another day. The experience is not affecting my personal life.
Thank You! Thank You!
Humbly Yours,
Jason
Day 5, kneeling naked I picked the Jack of Diamonds and told him to pretend to be the Queen of Hearts for the day. Jack seemed to find it pretty amusing to see me on my knees, and I imagined the expression on the face of the volunteer librarian’s boss when he stumbled on our tableau. The boss, in my mind, looked more outraged or disgusted than amused, seeing me on my knees and you above me. That expression was the same one I have seen many times on the faces of my brothers and male friends, offering their opinions on whether my current girlfriend was a “dyke” or “man hater”….I turned away from him and gazed up at you and the arousal grew. I choose to submit, because it feels so good. You guys will never know what you’re missing, and I won’t waste time trying to explain it.
“..as late in the day as possible” turned out to be past midnight, after a quite busy day of work and home responsibility with little time to think about all of this. Jack and I knelt and just breathed deep for a while. He said every orgasm is not a conquest. It is giving up control, not taking control. And with that thought I lost all control….
Today is Day12 of my experience.
No problems staying clear about my obedience and everything else :-)
I awoke and knelt reflecting on your control and obeying the Jack of Hearts. It took effort to edge as I feared going over. Letting go to the desire and yet controlling it at the same time…..
“Budding D” received her breakfast in bed as usual when I am home. But unlike the usual, I also took mine in and had it sitting next to her…..she did not read her book and we talked…..without the details, after breakfast……she received a lot of attention from me and I from her……I did not release.
We attended a black tie function at a hotel – “Budding D” was absolutely stunning – and even though the hotel is close to home I thought it would be a nice touch and I booked a room for the night….It is a very “Ritzy” hotel :-)
After the function, “Budding D” slept as I obeyed…kneeling and complying with the Queen of Hearts and your instructions.
Please may I continue to feel your control one more day?
Your obedient servant :-)
Jay
Mike, you’re welcome. I’m never offended by sincere questions so please always ask if you have them.
Jason, I cannot believe it has already been ten days for you :) You have such a sweet sincerity when you speak – all of you do really – and it’s quite touching. The sharing of your thoughts really pleases me a lot.
Rumi, I like the humor – nice touch :)
He said every orgasm is not a conquest. It is giving up control, not taking control. And with that thought I lost all control….
I’m going to commission you fellas to writing some articles for my blogs. You all do so well :)
Kaysnd,
Please allow me to continue this experience. I am seeing an abstract difference between physical control (Chasity belt and keyholder) and the mental control (obedience is pleasure) that I didn’t know existed.
Smiles
It seems like you are enjoying your education ;)
You may all continue, except Mike. School’s over for a bit for him :)